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The Tale of the Twin Tall Tale Contest…!

February 2, 2014

‘Twas Chairman Barrett who first took stage

And got some things right, despite his age

Richard the Brave – he kicked off the quest

Miss Oxon ’89 did he contest

Then Dave and Francois, Barrack and all

For Keiran’s cake did world leaders fall

Mind loss is surely no laughing matter

Learnt Mr President when with his Mata

But we always knew that our V.P.E

Was M.I.5 not M.W.P

Jeremy, that rogue, that master of zen

Took his edible clingfilm to the Dragons Den

And Jones there he stood with finger in eye

Mourning in mime that Madiba did die

Agent McCracken signed up in a trice

To spy on the hapless Ginger Spice

While Sean he revealed a sinister side

If cat snatching’s your thing, he’s your guide

Should we clap or climb, or stand and stare

At tiger or rhino, or Glen’s big bear?

Last up was he, but Westy’s no slack

Forth he did leap to present from back

Of these gallants, just five through the gate

To tell us impromptu of achievements great

First up was Glen, with a masterclass

On finding a mermaid and grabbing her… tail

Laura she told us of those great lies

When girls want their way and out pour the cries

Ignatius he rose amidst cheer and great clap

But megalomania in the playground? I say, old chap!

Westy on pogo the Andes did jump

And fall from his condor with one big bump

The mood turned ugly when Jones took to stage

Fighting dirty when trapped in a cage

Cage-fighting

The judges conferred, now so scared they could cry

And bade trophy to Jones – ‘twas that… or die

VE

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